This is Spring Part1, Part2
Firstly, when I was third grade, I had lots of fun during the summer vacation. So fun that I forgot I have to do my homework. In addition, as a result, I couldn’t do all of my homework in the last day of the vacation after I enjoyed my vacation. However, I studied as will while I was enjoying my summer vacation, I studied through this camp. I do not play all the time. My second experience was when I over-speeded while I was skiing. And what was the result? I slided through the snow. Plus, when I stood up, there was a red thingy on the snow. There was where my face was. Oh my got! Right below my lips, it was bleeding. After that, I never over-spee.
Lastly, this experience was through this camp. It was the third day. (I guess). In any case, I called Kelly on her Korean name. (I forgot E.O.P because the right before class was Math). And what happed? As you know, I got the E.O.P paper. On the first day of E.O.P! Now, I am always careful not to use Korean except HonJung time.
These are my experiences which I got the lessons as a boy. What is the lesson? Now, you would know. The lesson is that making mistakes makes a lesson is that making lessons makes you be a better person. For this, I’ll end this story.
I see what you are trying to say. Good examples, good explanation. It would be nicer if you would lengthen it a little bit. Practice writing longer pieces. Instead of providing a completely identical experience, you gave two seemingly unrelated examples and succeeded in connecting that to the bigger picture. Good job with that!
ReplyDeleteThis is a good essay. In the introduction, you need to say that you are talking about a video "Spring" and then give the summary. The examples you shard are good but remember to put spaces between your paragraphs.
ReplyDelete